So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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