I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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