It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
