I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
should my penis look like a turkey
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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