enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
