Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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