was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
