Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
