I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
