i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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