i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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