did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
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You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
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what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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