I want to stick my p in your. b.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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