Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
