watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
