Sponge bath it is.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
