You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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