how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
