I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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