...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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