Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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