but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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