I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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