She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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