As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Can you bring me the toilet please
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My life is pants optional.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
