You're completely useless in the revolution.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
