Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
