i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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