I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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