not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
