did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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