she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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