If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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