VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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