sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
