ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize