The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
