don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she peed on how many people?
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I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
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I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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