she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He passed out mid-signature
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
3pm strippers are depressing
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
