hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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