Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
