I faked an abortion last night.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
