I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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