You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
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I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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