two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
