You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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