you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
