I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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