If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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