this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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