hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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