I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I met the friendliest cop last night
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
