I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
