Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
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im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
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I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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