ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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