i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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