Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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