I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize