O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
