she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
