i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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