what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
