Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
