I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
