Porn is love you can see.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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