Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
